Busier Than a Banana Salesman at a Monkey Convention.....

Yesterday.....

Early in the morning, Big Fat BooBoo packed away all of her winter clothes and took out her moo-moos, sun visors and Finn Comfort clogs for summer fun.

Around tenish o-clock Nan came for a sitting. (She could only stay the morning as she had the bingo at 1pm and a Coronation Street coffee clutch at 3. (I would like to have joined her as I wouldn't say no to a good tongue wag about Norris Cole and his eejitty ways,  but I had other fish to fry)

New Naked Nans....

Images Above: "Naked Nans" Series #3 by Cara Kansala

In the afternoon I had some customers (Lovely!) and then spent the rest of the noonlies with my friends Krista and Stephanie (sisters extraordinaire!!) Krista loves all things citrus. Orange-YA glad I didn't forget? They visited with Rose and Blanche and brought new fly paper for HER. (I am still friends with them despite this.)

At 3pm I had to fry the other fish.

Image Above: Sterling Silver and Malachite Pendant *One of a Kind by Simon Kerr*

Now Available at The Grumpy Goat Gallery

 709-589-6854

At 4pm I "OOED" and "AWED" over Simon's new piece in the gallery. SO gorgeous!

Image Above: "Mrs.Peddle Walks to the Post Office to Get Her Mail Every Morning Except on Tuesdays When She Washes Her Only Brassiere and Has to Wait for It to Dry"

Acrylic on Canvas* Cara Kansala

In the evening I did laundry and washed my town clothes....just in case. My town brassiere had a glimpse of the old washing machine, too. 

Then I ate the fish I'd fried. Then I had a banana.

Bath. Pajamas. Beddies!

HONK! If you love Honking!

In the Gallery...............

Knock!Knock! KNOCK! KNOCK!KNOCK! on the door.

I flip-flop- flap (my flip flops are too big and make an extra flap) to the front door and answer it.....like you would.

Lovely Lady: Hello.... I was uncomfortable about honking the horn. Do you have a doorbell?

Me: No I’m sorry, we just have the horn.

Lovely Lady: Oh. (she seemed a bit down)

Me: (I try to cheer her up a bit)  Well sure, I’ve  already answered the door though! Your knocking worked! Would you like to come in?

Lovely Lady: I would.....but a doorbell might be something to think about in the future.

After the Lovely Lady left, I had a think about the terrific uncomfortableness of honking the horn. She isn’t the first person to tell me this. There are a lot of anti-honkers out there who have yet to find their inner Honk. Shocking stuff! I would personally drive 25 miles out of my way to get the chance to honk a horn. When I was a wee girl I drove around all day on my banana bicycle, honking my horn, ringing my bell, streamers flying and drove half the neighbourhood soda crackers!

I decided to sacrifice my nifty cow bell to the elements and put it outside to keep the horns company. That way, people have an option. I labelled them so people would know what to do. (Even though we have the giant sign, we still get the fabulous darlings who run back to their cars and honk their car horns....LOVE.)

Bell and horn say “SHAKE ME “and “HONK ME”. I think the bell might be slightly less intimidating than the horn but I’ll have to wait and see. In my opinion, if you come over, you should just do both. After all, what if you had an accident and injured your horn-honking hand? You’d be out of commission for months!

Life is shortish. Ring the bell. Honk the horn. Honk it like you mean it! After all, it makes the goats smile and they know a lot about honking...........they have 2 horns each!

Fly Me to The Moon......

Image: "Beulah Was in Such A Rush to Get in to Watch "The Young and The Restless", She Dropped a Sock From Her Laundry Basket and Never Noticed at All" Original Acrylic on Canvas by Cara Kansala * Available at The Grumpy Goat Gallery
In the gallery......
I'll  start off by saying that I am not fond of fancy shmancy-ness. A lipstick lasts me 2 or 3 years and I don't go out for the pedicures and manicures. I have never had a spa or facial (except for the time I couldn't close my window at the car wash) and I don't like shiny diamonds or false eyelashes. I DO, however, LOVE my smashing new haircut and don't mind spending the millions of dollars it takes to keep it looking straight and sleek and pinkly.You can imagine, then, the horror of what I am about to tell you.Oh the horror, indeed.......

Image: "Stuck on You".....Lionel Richie said it all.

I had planned on keeping this unfortunate tale between myself, the three incredibly discreet customers who witnessed it and HER but decided that the not often talked about importance of Fly Paper Safety outweighed any embarrassment I might suffer.

I was looking for my wee hammer and figured it would be in the workshop. I walked in the door (like you would) and was attacked - I mean savagely attacked, by a long, sticky, gooey, violent arm of slime. It stuck to my right eyebrow and one entire side of my head. I was trapped..... very much like a giant fly. In fact, I was eye to eye with several small flies who were staring at me with cold, dead, desperate eyes. Like them, I could not move. I reached up and grabbed onto the sticky tentacle holding me hostage and stuck my hand into what had to be the sap from 57 million trees.  It was then that I heard the honking. The bell ringing. The knocking. There were people at the gallery. SHE was up the hill doing something that did not involve helping me. I decided I would hide in the back yard and kept pulling and pulling at the fly paper that was stuck to my head. My hair was coming out by the fistfuls. Half an eyebrow. Gone.
Finally, I was free and managed to clean my hands with some turpentine which I happened to spill down my pant leg. Charming. By now, I figured the honkers had given up and had gone on their merry way and went into the house to try and clean the sticky out of my hair. I walked into the gallery and came fly to eye with 3 lovely ladies who had found the gallery door unlocked. They looked at me very strangely but did not ask questions. I could see a dead fly bouncing on the corner of my right bang but acted normal. I smelled like Christmas. They were lovely. Lovely indeed and bought some artcards and prints, complimented our "fun" gallery and even asked to take my photo. (Me and my seven dead flies declined because we had so much paint on our shirt).
Traumatized. I was. After they left, I found the telephone and asked Her to please come home and help me.
Ten minutes later SHE is at home, coating my very depressed hair in Becel Low Sodium Margarine....
Me: WHY DID YOU HANG FLY PAPER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORKSHOP?
HER: I bought it for the barn and had one strip left over. Wow....you are in a really sticky situation!
Me: Do you know how embarrassed I am?
HER: Well, just from looking at you, I'd say quite a lot. You know, that was my last fly paper strip.....could you go and stand still in the barn for a couple of hours before we clean you up?
Me: I could kill you!
HER: That's what the fly paper said to the fly!
Me: I had to talk to people in the gallery and wrap up parcels with all of this sap and death in my hair!
Her: That was a lot of work then sweety,  there's no flies on you!
Me: I HAVE A BUG CEMETERY ON MY HEAD! IT IS NOT FUNNY!
HER: I hate to burst your bubble, my love, but that's where you're wrong. Practically speaking, you just saved 30% on an eyebrow wax!

Needless to say, I am barely speaking to HER still. This was a cautionary tale to warn all of you about not hanging fly paper in the middle of a room if you enjoy having the lovely head of hair and both eyebrows. Safety First.

Who Knew Rosie Was a Pin-Up Girl?

Image: New Sterling Silver "ROSE" the Goat Pins!!!

Image: Rose is  happy to be wearing her new goat pin and scarf.

Wee Rose has always had a huge crush on our friend Simon. (Even Rose likes him even though he doesn't like Rootbeer). When Simon brought his hand-crafted jewellery to the gallery a little while ago Rose was so taken with it all, she begged us to have something custom made. Simon is such a sport (I secretly think he has a crush on Rosie too) he agreed. We are now proud to have gorgeous sterling silver "Rose,  the NOT so Grumpy Goat" pins available in the gallery. Simon and I worked on the image together until Rose thought it was her best likeness and needless to say, she is quite pleased.  It is an added bonus that Rose is a Capricorn!
Rosie's pins are $45 each and will be available at the gallery or by order all summer long!

But Can Steven Tyler Melt Gold??

Me: What is Simon's job called again?
HER: He is a Goldsmith.
Me: Isn't there a band called Goldsmith? The one that plays that song Angie?
HER: No. And yes. The song they play is Angel. The Rolling Stones sing Angie. The band is Aerosmith not Goldsmith.
Me: So it has nothing to do with making jewellery?
HER: What?
ME: Being an Aerosmith.
HER: No, that is just the name of the band. You can't BE an Aerosmith. Steven Tyler is the lead singer. You used to listen to their music all the time.
Me: Angie?
HER: No, Angel.
Me: Hmmmm. I wonder if Simon likes Aerosmith.........

IN THE GALLERY........
This year our guest artist is Simon Kerr - Goldsmith and Jewellery Designer extraordinaire! We are now fortunate  enough to be carrying a lovely selection of his one of a kind earrings, pendants and rings.
All of Simon's pieces have been created in his own workshop and are original designs, hand-crafted from sterling silver, gold and a variety of both precious and semi-precious stones.
We have both been huge fans of Simon's (he is a great friend despite the fact that he doesn't like Rootbeer) and his work for quite some time. Awesome fellow, amazing jeweller........so the next time you're in our area, do drop by and have a gander at his work!

Image Above: Sterling Silver Citrine Earrings Hand-Crafted by Simon Kerr 

Available at The Grumpy Goat Gallery

Image: "Levi Left the Gate Open Again" Acrylic on Canvas by Cara Kansala

Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer.....

Wee Lily the Cat (who we thought was a girl) is clearly the reincarnated not-so-talented younger brother of Rudolph Nureyev, the oh-so-very-talented Russian ballet dancer. Last week while trying to perform a grand jete, Lily the cat broke himself and is now in a full arm cast for a month. When I agreed to pay for his dance classes, I had no idea how much the vet bills would be.
In the gallery......
Wow!! We have had so many amazing visitors this season and I am so excited that I get to meet such interesting people! I loved LOVED loved Lovely Lady who insisted that the fishy floor cloth that was on the floor was a placemat and that it was the size of a standard placemat and that six of them would fit on her table. Easy.
The floor mat is 2 feet by 3 feet.
She must have REALLY big plates!

Picture Perfect!

Rose and Sophia send a big Thank You!! to Sebastian who came to visit today. He drew this goat-errific picture of them, their cottage and their cats. Rose (who is in charge of barn decor and decoration) plans on putting it up for everyone to see beside their hay bin!

Image: The Grumpy Goat Critters by Sebastian, Age 4

"Girl You're Every Rumen in the World to Me....."

Image: In the barn. Stanley and Blanche had almost memorized all of the words to "Making Love Out of Nothing at All".
Yesterday I was painting up in my studio when I saw Her coming up the hill. She went straight into the barn.
Terror.
I thought She would be out all day.......
Because it was raining, Rose and Sophie were having an "indoor day" with music appreciation to keep them entertained. I couldn't find my crank radio so I put my new iPad in the barn and fired up the iTunes.
When She came out of the barn I could see She was not impressed...... sort of like when She realizes there are flax seeds in her Cheerios.
Her:  .....:.... She is holding up my iPad.    "Really?" She says.
Me: "Well, I did put it up on a safe shelf! It's fine isn't it?"
Her: "Oh, I don't care what you do with your iPad, it's yours!  But why oh why are you torturing the poor  goats and kittens with AIR SUPPLY?"

Image: "Itchy Got a Fish For her Birthday" by Cara

There Was a Little Girl Who Had a Little Curl......

Image:"Midnight Dreamers Too" by Cara & Pam * Private Commission 2012

This morning at 6:45 AM. SHE wanders into the kitchen before me......

HER: "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS!"

Me:......I am thinking of all of the possible things I could have done to deserve such an outburst. Is She mad because I ate the last piece of strudel? Did I use up all of the milk? Is She upset because I left my  rubber boots in the kitchen instead of putting them in the shed? A very dramatic reaction to a rubber boot boobery, I think to myself.

HER: "What do you have to say for yourself?" She yells.

Me: Hmmmm......what DO I have to say for myself, I wonder. Clearly, She had Her heart set on a morning glass of milk and a stale piece of strudel. She is MAD.
I decide to face up to my very bad badnesses, haul on my furry slippers and cart myself into the kitchen to take my punishment. Then I see the best sight since time began.....a bad cat miracle! SHE wasn't talking to me at all! She was talking to Nana the cat (which is a fine thing to do if you live in Crazytown and are also the  
current mayor). It seems that in the night, Nana decided to do a little indoor gardening, bless her hairy heart!
Bad cat, Bad kitty, so bad.
Me: "Oh, that looks like quite the mess. How about I get the big broom from the shed...." (I sneak on my rubber boots without Her noticing) "....and I'll take out the garbage on my way....I threw out the last of the strudel last night by the way. It was stale."
Two out of three....
Me: "Oh yeah, I gave wee Blanche a dish of milk last night because she seemed sad and now we are out. Can you run to the store?"
HER:......."....sure."
This is going to be great day.