Fifteen Two, Fifteen Four......Her Cribbage Dreams Pegged Out the Door.....

I wouldn't say no to a diet root beer and a game of cribbage.........

Me: I love making these big, custom cribbage boards.We should make one for us to use. Better yet, we should make a life-size cribbage board...like a really big one!
HER: A life-size cribbage board? Hmm.... I would need to get a lot of topsoil brought in and we'd have to rent or buy a Kubota.
Me:....not really listening because when She starts talking about soil, tools, cars, Tin Tin or anything with a motor the little translator in my eardrum turns Her words into the theme song from The Flintstones.
Me: OK, whatever you need. Maybe we'll have time at the end of June.
HER: Nope, if we're going to do it I'll have to start soon and work at it a bit every day for the next few months. (She is exceptionally excited and I realize I have missed the bus).
We can build it up in the backyard on the hill so I'll have to graph it all out and wouldn't it be cool if we made really big cards, too. So, we'll be the pegs and the course will run from one end of the yard to the other.
Me: WHAT? WE are the pegs? Are you drunk? What are you talking about? Isn't a Ciabatta a kind of bread?
HER: No, a Kubota. It's a small tractor.
Me: ....lalala....yabba-dabba-doo...tractor...blahblahblah...
HER: You used the term "life-sized" in a weird way again, didn't you?
(I often get confused about what Life-Sized means. Last week I drew 30 "life-sized" gulls for her to carve but she said they were just regular sized. The size a gull would be. Then I drew a 7 foot tall "life-sized" paint brush for her to cut out for on the gallery sign. She said it was only Life-Sized if it was for a giant artist. Hmm.
HER: So, I am not getting a tractor or a load of topsoil or getting to make a really cool game in the back yard?
Me: Well, no. Does topsoil come from Topsail?
HER: I have a Life-Size headache.

                               Image: "Justin's Bait Shop" Cribbage Board by Cara and Pam

Lily Wouldn't Say No To Beating Your Pants Off at Cribbage!

At Least Lily Had Whale of a Time.....

Anyone who has been to our house knows that our very bad cats are always put away during meals. I also put them away while I am cooking or setting the table. Somehow during last weeks meal prep, Lily snuck out and decided that not only would he like to join us for the meal but wouldn't say no to being the meal. We could have served chicken cat- chattori or cat fish or paw-sta alla Lily. Needless to say, he thought it was very funny that we had to re-set the table with a new cloth and dishes. Perhaps he was thinking that if he made having company difficult we wouldn't do it so often and he'd get to roam free. Instead, I am thinking how one less cat would make things much easier. Easier. SHE wants to get me a Roomba vacuum. Big Fat BooBoo would just use it for transportation between her basket and the food dish and it would just be one more thing I would have to clean cat hair out of. Cat hair. I think I might start taking hair ball control medication. And buy shares in a lint roller company. Yesterday I invented disposable lint roll pants, sweaters and lint roll socks. Reversable lint roll coats for cats might be good too although if you used both at the same time it would be quite a sticky situation. Quite sticky, indeed.

I Am So Hot I Am Freezing.....

It has been gorgeous at The Goat House lately and so hot the paint has been drying before it gets on the canvas. Rose and Blanche saw their first iceberg ever and I almost swam
out to hitch a ride as it drifted out the bay. That's how hot it was. Flip-flops, T-Shirts, Popsicles and sunscreen. That is how hot it has been.
Now the sun is going down and the wind has changed and I have to go and light the wood stove before we die from the freezitation. Ahhh, Newfoundland.

Wonder Woman Could Take A Peacock........Easy Peasy

When I was five I was chased by a pelican on Vanderbuilt Beach in Florida. At first, I was full of the terror then realized I was wearing my Wonder Woman Underoos and gave IT the fright of its' life. I refused to wear a bathing suit back then. Wonder Woman Underoos. That was it. I wouldn't wear anything else and thank Kevin we were in Florida because I wouldn't cover up my super heroine underwear either. I was the bees knees. Despite my brave face way back when, I am still leery of birds. They often won't look me in the eye and it is unnatural that some of them look so huge but weigh less than a whisper in the wind. Chickens, gulls, ducks...the whole lot of them. Dodgey. Lovely to watch soaring through the sky or clucking in the coop as long as I can keep my distance.You can imagine my unbridled terror the other day when I happened to glimpse a look-see at the Google history and saw the following two searches.........
1) Can you eat peacock eggs?
2) Caring for peacocks in a cold climate.......
PEACOCKS? They are the sneakiest, least trustworthy of all the birds in Birdom. They hide HUGE, eyeball fans under their tails. I know that each of those goggley feathers is gunning for me, giving me the stink eye. The pretty pretty colours are just there to confuse you before the attack. God only knows what else is under there. Woodpeckers....that I could handle. They are very up front about what they are going to do. You know where they stand. No surprises there.
I told Her that peacocks are not even up for discussion and if She does pursue it further, I will expect an adult ladies set of Wonder Woman Underoos to arrive in the mail to get me through it. And I won't be covering them up either. And I wouldn't say no to an invisible plane or a golden lasso. I'm just saying'......

Image: Birds of a feather by Cara Kansala 

Happy DAY!

It is Wee Rose's first Easter. She wanted to hide the eggs for Stan and Blanche and so we let her. Now we can't find any of them anywhere. SHE said that if Rose takes after her mother (me), in 3 or 4 months we will find a pile of foil wrappers hidden under a rock. Really? I never!

Image: "Outer Battery" detail Mr. Pretty's Boat was Pink   by Cara Kansala - Private Commission

Kenny Rogers Said it Best...."Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run...."

The only thing that saved me today from imminent death was the fact that I was wearing Rose's rabbit ears and looked very slightly adorable. Three months ago, I moved my studio from the house to the new Goat House outdoors. I DID clean the now dining room for days....scrubbed the paint off the walls, ceiling and window trims and scraped it off the light fixtures. What I didn't do was scrub the floor. I was in a rush and threw a huge 8 x 10 floorcloth over it and until this morning, had forgotten all about it. This morning SHE decided that we didn't need a floorcloth in the dining room and took it up. I have to say, I can move pretty quickly when I have to. (I WAS wearing rabbit ears, so that might have helped with the speed though I swear I could hear Her hollering twice as loudly.) I spent the rest of the morning scraping the floor. Now I have Scrapers Elbow and Big Fat BooBoo has been giving me The Stink Eye all day for frustrating her darling SHE. I wouldn't say no to a bowl of brandied carrots. Well, just the brandy would do.

Image: The Dining room Floor. Now it is all shiny and perfect looking again. VERY boring indeed!

Image: "The House on the Hill" W.S.Oil on Canvas by Cara Kansala
There was far more paint on me than on the canvas when I finished up this one. She doesn't understand how I can make such a huge mess.....I don't either because I really do try to be good but it is just so very hard.

Revenge Will Be Mine......

Image: BooBoo's Breakfast

Image: "Cat's Table" by Cara -Mixed media

Today SHE woke me up with a startling "THERE IS A MOOSE IN THE BACK GARDEN!!!"

I hauled my rubber boots over my flannel nightgown and ran out the back door like a Tasmanian Devil, sliding on my bum through 2 feet of snow down the back steps. I was expecting to see a 6 foot tall majestic moose nibbling on my ivy, antlers waving hello. All I saw was a tiny picture of a moose I had made years ago, propped up against the garden wall. This was the moose in the back garden.
I watched Her laughing at me through the sliding door as I walked back up the stairs covered in snow, holding my moose. Oh, She's gonna get it, I thought.
Then, She called out that BooBoo was at the table eating my breakfast and could I please hurry to scoot her off. She got me again.
I am not going to talk to Her for the rest of the day. She keeps telling me there is an iceberg floating down our bay, but I refuse to look. Three GOTCHAS in one day would just be too much to bear.

Image: The moose in the back garden.